Why Every “Productive Morning Routine” is a Scam (And Why We’ll Never Admit It)
If you’ve ever scrolled through Instagram or YouTube, you’ve probably stumbled across those “productive morning routine” videos. You know the ones: they start with some model-human waking up at 5 AM, meditating, working out, reading three chapters of a self-help book, and sipping green smoothies—all before 7 AM. And here you are, still figuring out how to hit snooze without accidentally turning off your alarm. Let’s break down why the whole “perfect morning routine” myth is a scam we all secretly want to believe in. 1. Waking Up at 5 AM Is Just Torture Let’s address the elephant in the room—waking up at 5 AM is not, and never will be, fun. All these productivity gurus say things like “Seize the day!” and “The early bird catches the worm!” But listen, if catching worms means dragging myself out of bed before the sun’s up, I’m perfectly happy staying worm-less, thanks. Sleep is precious. Let me enjoy it. 2. Yoga at Dawn? Let’s Be Real So, the morning routine always starts with some...